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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26562679">My Only Dream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anemone_lj/pseuds/Anemone_lj'>Anemone_lj</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Car Accidents, Character Death, Hallucinations, M/M, Major character death - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:48:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26562679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anemone_lj/pseuds/Anemone_lj</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The one dream that wasn't taken away from him. The only one he has left.</p>
<p>Seungmin...</p>
<p>His only source of light...</p>
<p>His sunshine during dark days...</p>
<p>"Don't leave me... please..."</p>
<p>"I won't"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Only Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>pls dont hate me for this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You'll never be able to walk again"</p>
<p>Hyunjin remembers those words clearly. It went straight to his brain wrapping around it tightly making his head hurt. The words repeating like a broken record. He felt like air was slowly being sucked out of him. Words wrapping around his throat preventing him from breathing.</p>
<p>He remembers panicking. Things being thrown around the room. His mom trying to calm him down. The doctor calling a nurse. And Seungmin... Seungmin hugging him tightly while he cries. He remembers shouting at the doctor.</p>
<p>He remembers nurses bursting in, pinning him down. Then it's all black. When he wakes up he feels as if his whole world came crashing down on him. His mom couldn't do anything but stare at him as he burst into tears.</p>
<p>Acceptance is hard.</p>
<p>There are times that he feels like he could walk again. Maybe dance again. Play soccer and feel the wind. But the moment he tried to move his legs, it all came back to him.</p>
<p>He wouldn't be able to dance again. He wouldn't be able to run around the field and feel the wind.</p>
<p>He clutches his sheets. How long does he need to stay in the hospital? He wants to go home...</p>
<p>He feels a hand touch his. Gently placing it on top of his. He looks up and sees Seungmin peering down on him. Seungmin's other hand reaches out and cups Hyunjin's cheek. Gently wiping away the tears. He nuzzles Seungmin's palm, his tears showing no sign of stopping.</p>
<p>Seungmin...</p>
<p>The one dream that wasn't taken away from him. His dreams of becoming an idol now gone. His soccer career taken away in a flash. Seungmin is all that he has left.</p>
<p>He lifts his hand and clutches the Seungmin's hand that he was nuzzling.</p>
<p>"Don't leave me... please..."</p>
<p>"I won't..."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The day he can be discharged came. His mom going around the room fixing his things. His dad carrying the bags. Seungmin behind him holding his wheelchair. He feels arms wrap around him as they wait for his parents. Then a gentle kiss on the top of his head before the wheelchair started moving.</p>
<p>They stop in front of the car. He started shaking remembering the events that caused his misfortune.</p>
<p>It was all because of a damn car. A damned car that lost control. A fuckin car took his dreams.</p>
<p>He doesn't know how long he was like that but when he came too he saw Seungmin kneeling in front of him. Holding both of his hands, placing them near his lips. Rubbing soothing circles at the back of his hands with his thumbs.</p>
<p>He still has Seungmin... </p>
<p>His ray of sunshine in a dark place... </p>
<p>Words were exchanged before Seungmin carried him to put him inside the car. He made sure that Hyunjin's seat belt was worn properly before he entered the car from the other side.</p>
<p>No words were spoken inside the car. Only the soft hum of the radio, the cars engine, and their breathing could be heard. He could see his dad sneak a look at him from the rear view mirror. His mom not being subtle in checking from time to time.</p>
<p>Seungmin's hand is warm in his. Warm and... reassuring... His thumb kept on rubbing soothing circles at the back of Hyunjin's hand.</p>
<p>It soothed his nerves even if it was only a bit... </p>
<p>When they arrived home, Seungmin's mom was waiting in front. He was asked if he was fine. He could only offer the lady a smile and they already understood. How could he be fine? </p>
<p>His room was transferred to the first floor guest room. His old room at the second now converted to a guest room. His new room still had touches from the old one. Must be Seungmin's doing...</p>
<p>Seungmin carries him from his wheelchair to the bed. Making sure that he was comfortable before sitting beside him. He feels a hand on his cheek, then a gentle kiss.</p>
<p>"I love you."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Later they were called for dinner. Seungmin carries him again. He can't help but feel guilty for troubling Seungmin like this. He needs to learn how to help himself soon. Seungmin still needs to go to college.</p>
<p>When they arrive at the dining table Seungmin's parent's is also there. Talking quietly to his parents.</p>
<p>He still have his and Seungmin's parents. He still have his family. Even with his dreams disappearing from his reach he still have the love of his life and his family. Everything will be ok...</p>
<p>Except it wasn't...</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>He was reminded again on how useless he has become when his former classmates visit him after school. He shouldn't mind it that much, they were his friends. But they remind him of how he can no longer move his legs the way he wants them too.</p>
<p>He can no longer stand up and do the choreography that he worked so hard on. So he hides away from them. Locking his self inside his room, just staring outside the window waiting for them to leave.</p>
<p>When the door opens he knows its Seungmin. He's the only person who enters his room nowadays. His mom too... he doesn't know what word to use... scared? sad? traumatized? All he knows is his mom can't bare looking at him anymore. Maybe she pities him so bad. His dad is always busy trying to find a doctor that could help him.</p>
<p>He wants to shout and scream. Tell his father to give up, cause he has given up on the idea of walking again.</p>
<p>"Minho doesn't want to leave until you show your face to him..."</p>
<p>Hyunjin looks at Seungmin. His face is still the same. His red hair now fading. He still has the same smile he had before it all happened. Seungmin was the only who hasn't changed even after all the shit that happened.</p>
<p>"I can't..."</p>
<p>Seungmin's smile never falters. He leans close to Hyunjin and places a kiss on his forehead.</p>
<p>"Alright."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It wasn't always that bad. Sometimes Hyunjin felt confident enough to sit at the porch and watch as cars and people pass by. Sometimes Seungmin would accompany him with hot chocolates or freshly baked cookies.</p>
<p>Sometimes he and Seungmin would stay inside his room binging movies until their eyes get tired. His favorite moments were when they were watching romantic movies and Seungmin would whisper some lines to his ears.</p>
<p>His favorite was the one from Forrest Gump</p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>“I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental—like on a breeze—but I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. I miss you, Hyunjin. If there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away.”</strong> </em>
</p>
<p>Maybe he's relying on Seungmin too much... But he can't help it. Seungmin is the only dream he has left. Still theres this guilt eating him inside.</p>
<p>He feels as if he's chaining Seungmin down to him. Burdening him with his weight. Seungmin should be free? than be tied to him right? right?</p>
<p>Sometimes this guilt gets trampled on by Seungmin himself. Pushing it away to the darkest and farthest place in Hyunjin's mind. Locking it away with his own hands.</p>
<p>"You're the only one I'll ever love. I'm not taking care of you just because I pity you. I'm doing it because I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Hyunjin believed him. </p>
<p>Seungmin proved it. </p>
<p>It's been almost a year now. Hyunjin's condition has been getting better. His legs still have no hope. But at least now he can do some things on his own instead of relying on Seungmin.</p>
<p>He already gathered the courage to face Minho.</p>
<p>He received an encouraging smile from Seungmin that day. When he opened the door to his room and moved his wheelchair to the living room where Minho was waiting. </p>
<p>His friend had shed a tear when he saw him. Minho may have times where he can get a bit savage but he had a soft side reserved for his friends and family. </p>
<p>They didn't need to exchange words. They understood each other well. Just from the tight hug he received from the elder he already knew the questions and the words he wanted to say. </p>
<p>Minho stayed for a while. They talked about their friends and how Minho is doing with college. The topic about dancing and soccer being obviously avoided. </p>
<p>Maybe it was an hour and a half later when Minho received a call and said his goodbyes. Hyunjin felt like a weight had been removed from his shoulders when his friend hugs him one last time before leaving. A promise of returning leaving his lips.</p>
<p>"I'm proud of you"</p>
<p>Is the words that left Seungmin's lips when they retired to Hyunjin's bedroom for the night.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Seungmin eventually moved in with Hyunjin. Taking his place beside him. Seungmin had decided that it would be more convenient if he stayed with Hyunjin instead of going back and forth from his own home to Hyunjin's.</p>
<p>Seungmin's mother agreed.</p>
<p>The first time Seungmin told him about the idea he was reluctant. Hyunjin felt like he would tie Seungmin down harder. Giving him the responsibility of taking care of his boyfriend for years.</p>
<p>But Seungmin just smiled and all the darkness in Hyunjin's mind crawled back to the deepest parts of his mind.</p>
<p>"I love taking care of you. Me taking care of you like this makes me feel like we're already married."</p>
<p>Seungmin is all that I have left. Please don't take him away from me... </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Years passed and Hyunjin thought everything was going well. There's only a year left before Seungmin graduates. He has gotten better in doing his things alone.</p>
<p>His mother is doing well and is now able to look at him for long period of time. His father has gotten hold of a physical therapist.</p>
<p>Hyunjin is not really sure if him doing physical therapy would work. He's scared of hoping that he'll be able to walk again only for it to be crushed.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Seungmin had said that they were going somewhere. With a promise to watch Forrest Gump with him when they return home. So here he is waiting at the front porch sitting on his wheelchair.</p>
<p>After a few minutes Seungmin appears beside him with a wide smile adorning his face. It reminds him of how Seungmin has become his light on his darkest days. </p>
<p>"Let's go. I promise you'll like this." </p>
<p>Riding a car doesn't fear Hyunjin anymore. He transfers himself on the front seat and buckles himself. Letting Seungmin fold his wheelchair to put it in the trunk. </p>
<p>The majority of the ride is spent singing along to the radio. Hyunjin had tried asking where their destination is only for the question to be ignored. </p>
<p>So he waited.</p>
<p>They arrive at a small animal shelter. Seungmin took his wheelchair and placed it in front of Hyunjin. Waiting patiently for Hyunjin to be able to transfer himself safely.</p>
<p>Once the car doors are locked they enter the shelter doors. The woman at the front desk immediately smiled when she saw Seungmin. </p>
<p>"You're back. They're ready." </p>
<p>Hyunjin looks up at Seungmin curiously. The latter smiles at him. </p>
<p>"We're going to meet someone." </p>
<p>Hyunjin watched with excitement in his eyes as the dogs ran around them. Seungmin had assisted him on sitting down on the grass in the play area. Dogs would constantly go near them and play fully bark before running around again. </p>
<p>One dog though stayed near them. Lying down between him and Seungmin. Head perched on top of Hyunjin's thigh.</p>
<p>They ended up bringing the dog home. </p>
<p>"Her name is Kkami." </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Kkami would usually accompany Hyunjin wherever he went. Casually sitting on his lap as the wheelchair moved. </p>
<p>She would also be sitting between him and Seungmin during their movie nights. Hyunjin often sneaking her a snack or two. </p>
<p>Hyunjin's mom liked her. Sometimes Hyunjin would find his mom talking to Kkami as she paced around the kitchen. Kkami would silently listen to her, sitting on the floor looking up at her. </p>
<p>When Seungmin arrives from school, Kkami would be there waiting for him by the door. When Seungmin steps in she would circle him before standing up to lean on his legs asking for pats. </p>
<p>Kkami has become a part of their little family. Hyunjin and Seungmin's daughter you could say. </p>
<p>Hyunjin's dream doesn't consist of Seungmin only. </p>
<p>It became the three of them. </p>
<p>Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Kkami. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Maybe dreams weren't for him. </p>
<p>It happened one night while waiting for Seungmin to arrive home. Graduation is only a month away so preparations are being held. Seungmin arriving late is now something normal.</p>
<p>Even Kkami had adjusted to it and decided to wait on the bed instead of by the door. </p>
<p>One side of Hyunjin thinks that Seungmin had gotten tired of him and Kkami and left.</p>
<p>The other side of him knows that Seungmin would open the door with a smile on his face.</p>
<p>He usually listens to the latter. But today is different. Seungmin still hasn't arrived and it's been 2 hours since his usual arrival. </p>
<p>Kkami sat on his lap, eyes wide open, ear standing up as if waiting for something. Hyunjin knows she's also worried. </p>
<p>Hyunjin tries calling his phone but no one answers. Hyunjin had probably left more than 50 missed calls and a hundred texts. </p>
<p>Kkami suddenly stiffens on his lap, standing up, staring at the door. He hears running outside before his door bursts open. </p>
<p>His mom panting with a scared look on her face.</p>
<p>"Seungmin- He's at the hospital." </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Seungmin had been hit by a car and hit his head hard according to the nurse they talked too. He was still in the emergency room when they arrived.</p>
<p>It was the result of drunk driving they said. Oh how Hyunjin wanted to punch the mans face so badly when he saw him at the waiting area. The man had only hit his head on the steering wheel. His head bandaged with a bit of blood sipping through the bandages. </p>
<p>Hyunjin gritted his teeth as the man kneeled in front of him. His hands clenched tightly on top of his lap. </p>
<p>His swings his fist hitting the man on the cheek. He falls on the floor away from his wheelchair. He crawls, drags himself towards the man and swing his fist again. </p>
<p>His father stops him before it gets worse. Carries him and places him on his wheelchair. </p>
<p>Tears kept on falling on his cheeks like waterfalls. </p>
<p>Seungmin... </p>
<p>His dear Seungmin... </p>
<p>Experienced the same accident that caused Hyunjin his legs. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It was another hour later when the doctor comes out. Seungmin's mother immediately steps forward.</p>
<p>Hyunjin's world falls as he hears the words come out of the doctor's lips.</p>
<p>"He didn't make it." </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Hyunjin stares outside the window, watching the snow fall gently. It's been a month since it happened. </p>
<p>Kkami sat on the floor near his feet. Whimpering as she nuzzles Hyunjin.</p>
<p>Hyunjin spares her a look before gazing back at the snow falling outside. </p>
<p>
  <em>"Hyunjin" </em>
</p>
<p>"Seungmin?" </p>
<p>
  <em>"You have to eat your lunch. You're getting thinner. You know I don't like seeing you like this." </em>
</p>
<p>"Seungmin- I-" </p>
<p><em>"Please? For me?"</em> </p>
<p>"Alright" </p>
<p>He hears Kkami whimper again so he looks down. She's now standing on two feet leaning on his leg. When he looks back up Seungmin has disappeared. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It happens again, when he watches Forrest Gump in the comforts of his room. Kkami sleeping beside him. </p>
<p>He hears his voice saying his favorite line. Whispering gently on his ear. When he looks at his side he sees Seungmin smiling at him.</p>
<p><em>"I love you"</em> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"Seungmin!" </p>
<p>Hyunjin happily calls out when he sees him standing on the door.</p>
<p>Seungmin smiles and joins him on the bed. Hugging him gently, so gently it was almost non-existent. </p>
<p>Kkami barks at him from the floor. Nudging him before barking again. He gazes at Kkami and questions her why she's barking. He feels Seungmin's arms slip away so when he looks back at Seungmin he was already gone. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>His mom said he was hallucinating. He didn't believe her. Seungmin is standing right there beside him. A wide smile on his face.</p>
<p>They don't see him. </p>
<p>Why? </p>
<p>Why can't they see him? </p>
<p>Hyunjin gets mad at them. Calls them crazy for not seeing Seungmin. </p>
<p>Seungmin is alive and smiling beside him. That's all that matters to Hyunjin. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Days turn to weeks</p>
<p>Weeks turn to months</p>
<p>Seungmin is alive. It's what Hyunjin says. He disappears from time to time but he's alive.</p>
<p>Everyone says it's his denial. Hyunjin argues that they're just blind thats why they can't see Seungmin.</p>
<p>"HE'S ALREADY DEAD HYUNJIN! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO! YOU CAN'T BRING BACK THE DEAD!"</p>
<p>Is what Seungmin's mother tells him after months of hin telling them Seungmin is alive.</p>
<p>No...</p>
<p>No, he refuses to believe. Seungmin is right beside him. Smiling so cutely.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Jisung - Seungmin's friend from college - punches him when he sees him.</p>
<p>"Stop saying he's alive! I know it hurts to accept it but you're not the only one hurting!"</p>
<p>Jisung kneels in front of him sobbing loudly.</p>
<p>"He's already dead..."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>"Seungmin... why do they keep on saying that you're dead?"</p>
<p>Seungmin doesn't answer. He just moves to sit in front of him. He places a hand on Hyunjin's cheek but says nothing.</p>
<p>"Seungmin?"</p>
<p>A tear falls down on Seungmin's face but the smile never disappears.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Cause I am"</em>
</p>
<p>Hyunjin felt like time stopped. The world around him becomes silent.</p>
<p>"W-What?"</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Seungmin doesn't appear again. Weeks pass he still hasn't appeared. Hyunjin gets worried.</p>
<p>It all come crashing to him when a man visits them. A large bouquet of flowers in his hand. And an apology slipping pass his lips.</p>
<p>It was the man who had hit Seungmin.</p>
<p>"It's been a year..." The man murmurs. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Hyunjin goes back to his old ways before Seungmin came back to him.</p>
<p>He barely talks, barely eats, barely sleeps. All he does is stare out the window and cry.</p>
<p>It starts slowly.</p>
<p>His chest slowly hurts. Every single day that passes makes his heart hurt more. Then it gets harder to breathe. His mom had brought him to a hospital once. But they found nothing.</p>
<p>Then came the fainting. His heart would beat fast then slowdown then it would fasten again. Then he would faint.</p>
<p>He spent a whole month like that.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>He saw Seungmin again today. He was smiling at him as he opened his eyes. The sun was shining behind him. Kkami peacefully sleeping beside Hyunjin.</p>
<p>Seungmin leans down to press a kiss on Hyunjin's forehead.</p>
<p>Hyunjin's heart aches. It hurts so so much. He's also tired even if he just woke up.</p>
<p>"Seungmin... I'm so tired. So so tired. So tired that I don't know what to do."</p>
<p>His heart hurts more, like someone is forcing it out of his chest. </p>
<p>"Seungmin. It hurts so much." </p>
<p>"Don't worry now. You'll be okay soon." </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Another funeral is held a year after Seungmin's. </p>
<p>One man and one dog. </p>
<p>Everyone is silent as the coffin is lowered. Slowly people began to leave. Leaving two boys standing watching as the coffins are covered by dirt. </p>
<p>"They're together now right?" </p>
<p>Jisung looks at the man beside him and shrugs. He wipes another stray tear before looking up at the sky. White clouds littered the sky covering the sun. </p>
<p>"Maybe..." </p>
<p>Minho looks up at the sky. A wind blows past them, the clouds slowly clearing up. The sun was shining brightly making them cover their eyes. </p>
<p>"Have you fulfilled your dreams of being together with him?" Minho murmurs. </p>
<p>Another wind blows past them along with some leaves and flowers.</p>
<p>Minho turns to the 3 tombstones. He smiles gently wiping away a tear before he turns to leave, Jisung following silently behind him. </p>
<p><strong><em>"My dream is fulfilled"</em></strong> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
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